Perhaps one day I will find a girl that passes the test. In the meantime, you should all check out my friend Elaine's blog called Seriously Rad. I decided.
Bold Statements, Moral Conundrums, and Things We Could Live Without
Some of you might know that Uncle Jeff is an amazing graphic designer. He doesn’t even know I’m even writing this. I am blessed to call this man one of my best friends. The projects that I’ve seen of his are nothing short of mind-boggling. He’s never done something half-assed. Jeff takes the time to really learn about his product, interact with his clients, and produce an end product that everyone is always excited about. Armed with some sort of super human ability to enforce his amazing taste on a screen, I think now is a good time we implore him to make us an amazing looking logo.
Our current logo was made by myself, an idiotic wannabe oil-field engineer, who knows nothing about making things look nice or tasteful. So don’t blame it on me, as I plead ignorance. I’m thinking if enough of us write comments below, Jeff might take a keen interest in building this blog up into the greatness that I know it soon will be.
So leave a comment. There is no doubt he’ll see it. Tell him to take 10 minutes out of his busy day to make us something special… for the PEOPLE!
Just Sayin’ -T
Also, if you are in need of any website/
man-whore graphic design/etc work and want to pay for an outstanding product, feel free to contact us on our email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Exhibit A: F.O.B. = Fresh Off the BoatYou might have heard this term before if you live anywhere near the west coast where, naturally, most of the boats land. You could have a person in mind while you're reading this entry that could possibly fit into this category. They probably weren't born in America. They speak their native language fluently and so do all their friends. They don't have many non-Asian friends, and they've always made really good grades in school. They canNOT dance and when they do try to speak English, they make everything plural.
Genetics: I'll mark the first one off as tragedy. There's basically nothing you can do about it. It's extra skin, and you're probably a nice girl. Your grandmother has it. Your mother has it. And you'll probably give it to your kids if you decide to reproduce. Perhaps you should rethink that?Moving along...
Age: Now this one goes without saying. Obviously with a higher age, your skin loses it's resiliency. You have finally found the one thing that you can't cover up with makeup. Sorry, but true. I will say this: Getting older is ok. However, I probably wouldn't notice you as much if you and your cougar friends didn't hang out at all the same places me and my attractive young friends did. (Just sayin')Saving the best for last...
The BMI: Please understand that 95% of this article is directed towards you. Besides uncontrollable conditions i.e. pituitary diseases, eating disorders, and the like, I'd like to come out and say that you are part of the problem. Armpit vaginas are the direct result of your crappy lifestyle. Not only do you stay completely inactive and lazy, but you decide that everyone is better off knowing about it when you decide to wear that pink halter top out with your friends. You have a complete disregard for my well being when I'm eating dinner at a nice restaurant and you come walking by with that insanely large quantity of skin and fat smushed up into an extremely small area. I can even see the hair stubble inside your vagina lit up with cheap white deodorant, because you didn't care enough to shave before you left the house either.One piece of advice I will give freely to those with armpit vaginas, so that they may not infect the world any longer... okay, maybe two: