Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Clause #66 - She's ALWAYS In Love and The Lover's Holocaust

This one goes out to any one of you who has a Myspace/Facebook profile and are able to witness the codependent monotony that I like to call The Lover's Holocaust. I've been unfortunate enough to see a few of these cases in my days here on planet Earth, and you all know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's that certain person's profile that says no matter who they are dating, they are The One. They are seriously in love, and they want to tell you all about it. I always wondered: How is every boyfriend The One?? I mean obviously you had to be wrong about every dude before that, right? Yes that's right, unless they all are The One. Even then they wouldn't be an The ENTIRE One; Instead more like fractions of The One. I don't know about you, but I'd have a big problem being 2/5 of The One.

These people might leave 10-20 comments a day on their lover's profile just to affirm that in this 5 minute time block: I still love you. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING what happened in the last 5 minutes.. maybe I changed my mind? Nope, I still love you and you are my snookems. These people are the type that go to Sears and get crappy pictures of them kissing and blah blah blah on the second week of their unconvincing "relationship". They might have stuff on their profile that says something like, "My love for you is a journey; starting at forever and ending at never". They probably have more pictures on their online profiles of the two of them together than they have of themselves individually. Disgusting.

Let's define codepentent/codependence for good measure:

co·de·pend·ent: –adjective
1.of or pertaining to a relationship in which one person is physically or psychologically addicted, as to alcohol or gambling, and the other person is psychologically dependent on the first in an unhealthy way.

That being said, I think it's easy for all of us to identify that there hasn't really beeen any seriously long gaps of singledom in this person's recent life. Maybe they're just THAT LUCKY to meet The One every time they go to the grocery store... nope, wrong again. This is a disease and I'm tired of seeing it. If you're that in love with snookems, then go ahead and delete me, because I won't condone that garbage. Losing all your individuality isn't a high priority in my amazing list of priorities. And being wrapped up with skeeze after skeeze just makes you look bad.

Just Sayin' -T

ps. Yes, that is a picture of me throwing up after too many beer bongs of Natural Light in college. I feel as though it's the only way for me to fully convey my unweddable disgust for this thing.

And yes, it's way more fun for me to just put pictures of myself on this blog. It's mine. I can do what I want. -T


Greg said...

you just described one of my friends to a tee, and she still wonders why i dont want to meet the new love of her life every other week.

Tyler Q. said...

Shun her with every ounce of disgust you can summon. It's the only way they'll change. -T

Anonymous said...

I honestly think that some people just like to show off on myspace- this just feeds their need for constant attention or something.