Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Clause #69 - Nothing Gainful or Beneficial Ever Came from Going to a Strip Club


This clause comes from a close friend of ours who we'll just say likes strip clubs. It's quit an impossible certainty for us to understand. You see, our friend is basically on the straight and narrow: nicest guy you'd ever meet, goes to church, never messes around with girls, hardly uses profanity, etc. However, if there's ever a chance that we're bored and looking for something to do, he ALWAYS suggests Spearmint Rhino (the most famous strip club in Las Vegas).
Basically to understand this clause, you must understand why the strip club is never a host to a good time.

Here are some examples.

1. One time I was drugged with some type of upper - I'm guessing it was to make me spend more money... To make a long story short, it worked.

2. To avoid the constant flock of strippers pressuring me for a dance, I told them I was gay. This turned out to make my situation even worse. Every dancer in that place wanted to sit down with me and discuss topics such as: shopping for shoes, Perez Hilton, Hollywood gossip, and if the Mets were a football or a baseball team. I'd also like to add that you've never lived until you've experienced a real conversation with a coked out stripper.

3. VIP rooms: Never go into them if you're drunk. The seconds add up to serious $$$. I spent 5 songs (I think, but could've been longer) inside one, and had to pay $600. SERIOUSLY!?!

4. One time I got a little drunk and made out with a girl that my friend liked. I know this was MAJOR guy rule breakage and totally not my style. I'm a firm believer of there always being enough to go around, and I really screwed up that night. I'm guessing the sexual aura in the air was just too much. I say blame it on the alcohol though. Bottom line: if we weren't in a strip club, it wouldn't have happened.

Just sayin' -T

1 comment:

j.s. said...

nothing ever good comes of it, but it always seems like a good idea when you're all drunk and someone throw up that damn Rhino horn and says "TO THE RHINO!"