Friday, June 27, 2008

Clause #727 - She Prides Herself on Being Sexually Experienced in Dimly Lit Places

Now this Clause usually takes place when she is turned on to you, not vica versa. That being said, you can tell she's a little slutty. You probably don't have much going on at this point with women if you're giving in to what this could be. All gut feelings set aside, you willingly accede to her flirting and maybe she asks to see you sometime.

So maybe you're out having a drink or two at a quiet spot on the wrong side of town (LOL!), and you can tell she's into you. I should also add that she's not ugly at all, just a bit "sluttish" or maybe "experienced". She might talk completely normal but slip in something like, "I'm not tryn'ta do that" or "stop trippin". Please understand that these are clear warning signs: God's little hints of grace and love that basically say, "May-day, May-day. Son, get the hell out of there.". But not stubborn me. Unfortunately, the only hints I take are blunt blows to the face. So we're knee deep in conversation and we're talking about relationships, boys and girls, etc. and things are going alright. I'm starting to actually retract my previous stereotypes and believe that this girl is the diamond in the rough of her kind (see Clause #47).
So the night is winding down and the candles are about to go out, and I'm thinking about a glorious night sleep on my bed. She gets the hint that I'm ready to leave so she starts talking sex. She leans over and mentions things she could do to me that must be illegal in the state of Arkansas and I'm thinking, "What kinda crap did I give off to deserve this?". So she's whispering and my stomach is turning. But a small part of me is like... hey, could be fun!

I end things by giving in to my better judgment and telling her this just isn't for me. As nice as she was, I wasn't interested in taking things to that level with her. Friends with benefits are cool if it's with the right person... this was just too easy, and she wasn't really my type anyways.

So take the warning signs friends. If she seems "experienced" in the beginning, you'll probably be regretting it later... or maybe not!

Just Sayin' -T

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