Thursday, July 3, 2008

Clause #101 - There Could Be a Major U.S. Highway In Between Her +2's [or] You Could Park a '79 Cadillac Inside Her Cleavage

Sorry folks, been a little busy lately. Here's the latest entry:

What's up with the terrible boob jobs in Vegas?.... No wait, that's the wrong question: What's up with the terrible boob jobs EVERYWHERE? It's like every time I turn around and I see some wide-shouldered woman with 3 inches between her +2's, I go a big rubbery one. High, low, wide... it's all the same. Are the doctors on drugs? I had to investigate...

It turns out ANY doctor can perform what we would call a plastic surgery procedure. What people aren't looking for, is to see if these quacks are board certified or not. Why is it so important to have a board-certified surgeon? Because legally any doctor is permitted to do any procedure -- a psychiatrist could do a breast augmentation. If you use a board-certified plastic surgeon, you know he or she has completed three to five years of training in general surgery and a minimum of two to three years of training in plastic surgery, plus they have to take written and oral tests.

That being said, I'll never forget what a friend of mine said about +2's one day.... "Anyone can have them." And he's right. I realized this when a certain transvestite I know got DD's. The sad thing is that "his"(1) +2's looked better than some of the women I've seen walking around Vegas lately. Now let me clarify since that must have sounded borderline homosexual: The quality of "his"(1) plastic surgery was obviously higher than some of the girls I've seen recently.

Even if you see a chick with decent +2's, just think: You could have some just like it, so they're not that special. This is quite the conundrum since I consider myself a "T Man"(2). +2's just aren't for me. They're hard. They look like aliens on your chest. You'll probably get a bad doctor 90% of the time (or so it seems). Even if you get an experienced, board certified doctor, he could have a drug problem, or maybe just a bad day. So what's so lucrative about them? Why would women want to roll the dice like that on the one and only body they'll ever have? You tell me.

So the next time you see a woman with railroad territory in between her aliens aka +2's, tell her to put a vice on those things.

Just sayin' -T

(1) I never know how to refer to trannies. Him, her... who cares, right?
(2) "T Man" would basically mean I prefer cleavage over other things

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1 comment:

elaine said...

haha dirty... all men are T-men